The reason

Althought Im outdated

I still love the song..The Reason

I'm not a perfect person
There's many things I wish I didn't do
But I continue learning
I never meant to do those things to you

And so I have to say before I go
That I just want you to know

I've found a reason for me
To change who I used to be
A reason to start over new
and the reason is you

I'm sorry that I hurt you
It's something I must live with everyday
And all the pain I put you through
I wish that I could take it all away

And be the one who catches all your tears
That’s why i need you to hear

I've found a reason for me
To change who I used to be
A reason to start over new
and the reason is You [x4]

I'm not a perfect person
I never meant to do those things to you
And so I have to say before I go
That I just want you to know

I've found a reason for me
To change who I used to be
A reason to start over new
and the reason is you
I've found a reason to show
A side of me you didn't know
A reason for all that I do
And the reason is you

Mizing

Hope you are leaving with my love in your heart

All the bez to u..Muacks

~Awwww~

Wat A Day

Firstly wake up damn late..12 arghhh intend to wake up early to finish up some stuff...

After waking up straight away on my laptop and start to do my work..Designing my Wahana..Magazine..

Pheww Im rushing like mad..

At 5 went to tuition..I took a bicycle, ride to jurong point..Parked my bike then took 174..Supposed to go to Jurong west st 42...

BUT I MIssed the bus stop haha first time going to teach this place..and ended up ..at bukit batok road...Took a cab to her house..Pheww 6 bucks gone....shld have taken the cab from Jurong Point.>I was 1/2 hr late...First time teaching this kid..Im already late...Awwww...

upon reaching there.. I realised it was near Abang Long's house...so THERE ARE ACTUALLY A LOT OF BUSESSSSSS...arghhhhh

Never mind First time not always up to ur expectations haha..Anyway this family is an Indian family....phewww..

Bila lah aku nak jadi kaya ek kwang kwang kwang

boxes

I need boxes

arghhh Shifting again.. and again..and again

This time round to Hall 11....hard to swallow the fact that I got that hall..SO sadd but then again..Thank God i got a place to stay ..

Touches the heart

Let me leave with your love in my heart ~Windstruck~

Aww I love this show..

Went to watch an almost midnight with Bloodshed...

It was a korean show...Windstruck....

Almost quarrel with him cos i wanna watch around the world in 80 dayz...however he insist on this show..Anyway someone picking up the tab haha...

HAd grilled platter at long John

First time tried it..wow it is healthy and nice..haha no regrets..anyway again someone is picking up the tab..

The show ends at 2410...I was 10 minits after the last bus..So had to take a cab home :(

Haha i know i should not be watching movie but instead be at home taking care of dad..
Hey i need a break..Im tired :P

Anyway I REKOMEN WATCHING WINDSTRUCK it is soo funny and sweet...

I will leave with your love in my heart..Awwww

Escape

So many guests coming in and out at Tanglin..visiting Dad

Pheww haha

At the same time I have so many things to do so no choice had to get out and go back hall finish up my work

SOrry mum :P

Lost

I lost my ez - link card..juz a few minits after using it.

I took 198 from Tanglin....then drop at boon lay...took 179...Upon boarding 179, the ez-link card which I always put in a plastic casing, clipped to a lanyard was missing..Luckily I had 2 dollars in my wallet. Asked this pretty Indian lady if she had coins to exchange with my 2 bucks..Instead she gave me 1 dollar for the bus fare..

Awww..It is soo sweeet of her..So sweet to come across such a nice singaporean...

This is singapore..U know..there are a lot of nice people out there..
Thanks lady..
I forgot to asked your name..

Tanglin

Dad is back...

Got to stay in Tanglin Halt...

Not so bad afterall however..It feels like im limping without the internet...

In the afternoon got to go back hall to settle stuffs..

This is week is a hectic week..so many stuffs due ... What else..if not perbayu stuff...

PHewww holiday life = perbayu...

SGH BUY BUY

Bye bye SGH

Alhamdulilah..Dad is discharged from SGH...

I would prefer to see Dad at my hse in tanglin halt rather than hospital..phewww..

... So busy nowadayz trying to finish up the magazine...finding sponsors and what not...

awww

Pather's day

Suppose to look for a Tie with a fren...

Then Saw this seiko watch for 88 bucks..Man's watch..otomatik some more..

So without hesitation..I bought it for my dad since father's day i didn't get him anything...Was contemplating to get him the automatic one or the one with battery..so i thought automatic is better no need to change battery...however..was caught by surprised when dad says he prefers battery? funny rite hehehe..he prefers battery operated???? Awww..guess this is old man's taste :P

At BUGIS met my long long old good buddy..I really miss him so much..miss studying and talking and teasing each other....haha...

Khairudin...Met him with his gf...
Cet he lied...he told me before he was married....He was pulling my leg..phewww
of cos i was shocked...he is like my age...

when he saw me he was like..Yanti u grow so big ah....awww what is that suppose to mean..It means I have to go on a diet arghhhhhhh again......

Had chicken spring with the two badutz at a 24hr coffee shop..Was forced to go..however it is free....

Dilemma mendurja :P

This is bad..I feel like I made a very big mistake...

This is really bad..I m feeling damn shitty right now

But still....it is good if another party does goes up..

IF only he have one more year .. sigh :( then we will not be left with such uncertainties.....

This is life.......

tHERE goes my holiday :(

Dugaan dugaan dugaan....

Cheated

Haha I skipped the Seminar...
ewww I heard it ended at 8pm and cannot leave halfway
Then I have to go hospital..so i can't go to the seminar...Family impt mah :P

Had Syura...

Sad to let go of kiki..a one in a million leader .really so sad...

Anyway juz hoope din did a good job..I believe everyone can do a good job...Juz a little push...then it is done.

Hope PERBAYU gets better each year ....

It is tiring to go up n down the hospital :(..

Hope dad is well soon....

Hope his mum is also well soon..I can imagine him going up n down to hospital haha..tiring tiring tiring..

Scared to death

Suddenly Im scared So scared .... So scared of the future..

What Am i doing????

Parents in laws, Mum, Dad, husband, family, Studies, Financial.. etc etc etc

Wow..what will happen to me????????

Still, Im looking forward to be a doting wife...

Trust

Dun trust anyone 100%........

Seminar??

Today..goin for a seminar..SM LEE...wow..once in a lifetime chance to meet him upfront..must go must..go but most likely i will sleep haha..Not becos of him..but becos..Im good at sleeping during lectures....

What is SM lee gonna talk about??

Cant wait for the moment..

I heard one hour before the talk..there will be a thorough check up..

ewww...

Stolen goods

jangan kerana guruh bergempita
air di tempayan kaukeringkan,
jangan kerana unggas di rimba
denak di sangkar kaulepaskan,
jangan kerana pelangi yang indah
lampu di kamar kau matikan,
jangan kerana kerlipan kaca
zamrud di tangan kau lemparkan,
jangan kerana buih yang indah
bumi yang nyata kau tinggalkan...
-abdul rahim awang.(1993)

Stole this from someone's blog. hehe
I like this

Good morning

Dearest....

U are one of a million...

Bloodshed...

Aww

I love you.."I think" haha

A cute message ..It hurts aww..haha but it's funny...

Well,It really makes me think......

Sometimes we must know that ..when we love someone whole heartedly and sincerely, U dun
expect ur love to be reciprocated...Most importantly u urself love the person. Dun care whether the other party Love u back...

Most importantly..My love is true...

True love does not wither.....

Tired

So many things to settle ......

First, Pictures of Bunayya camp...

Since Dad is in hospital..Not much work is done..So tomoro have to rush things already...pheww..and after doing those stuff got to go SGH...

What a nice holiday...

Dilemma

16th July 2004..

The day Im waiting for..HOLIDAY....a trip to KL with ma NIE frenz...
at 2am..still had not packed my bag...talking to frenz in MSN .. discussing bout the upcoming trip....

2.30am.. Bro called. Dad is In ICU..arghh....
was lost for words. My mind wasn't straight...Dilemma..To go ahead with the KL trip haha (which is a cruel decision If i go ahead with it)..Feel wasted cos was looking forward for the trip..However family come first..

Next morning...Wake up early..then get ready to go to Johor..Dad was admitted to Hospital Pakar Puteri at larkin...

One whole day and night was at the hospital..The ICu was packed with my family..I overnight in the hospital with my mum and two cousins...Gosh it was cold..the room was quite small.....My dad looks critical..

I heard that when dad was admitted the doctor told my family,he is at a critical stage.."Nazak" so we got a choice to bring him home or go to hospital..WHAAT A DOCTOR..got the cheek to say that...without even trying harder...so my family insist at least try their besst..and not give up too soon....

after two dayz in tat hospital...we decided to bring him to Singapore general hospital..So till now he is in SGH..ICU ward......now Alhamdulilah he is getting better...at least we tried our best..Now he is consicious after a few dayz in coma...

Sleeping in the hospital is not bad afterall..God knows how tiring it was..

Still wondering...For one and a half day...in that malaysia hospital..we paid hard cash 8K WOW...God gracious he is sent to SGH..got medisave mah..

Better start saving for ur future medical needs.....COs u never know when u gonna get sick...

Lost for words

Terlalu banyak rahsia dalam rahang mulutmu,
semungkin memberi takrif pada cinta ...
Pada kebatinan senja, dirimu menyala menyamar seribu makna ...
Payah bagi diriku melukis kasih mu dengan warna ...
kerana aku melukis tatkala mawar di hujung taman berguguran ...
Dalam kemelut derita aku akan berada di samping mu ...
membisik sebuah kisah perjuangan hati rindu ...
rindu padamu, yang sering tersipu
Pabila cakrawala jatuh di dada,
malam sarat dibalut gelombang. Langit memutih memangku kasihku ..
pada dirimu, Sopianti kasihku ...!

Hehehe does that name blends well with the poem?? :P

Poem??

Kehadiran mu tanpa disedari
meninggalkan kesan disanubari
Tiada ku pinta kehadiran mu ini
menggoncang jiwa dan hati
Hingga meminta diri ini
Diberi petunjuk Ilahi
Adakah ini suatu cobaan
Yang datang untuk menguji
Semakin dirimu ku benci
Semakin kuat cinta di hati

This is not a good poem haha ::P

Long day

..Running errands today...

Met Mr Max ....

Went AIA Tower....

Went Tuition....

Went Tanglin halt to take durian...

So tired...

Missing someone...

Mizz

Goin to Kl for three dayz..wed to Fri..

Gonna Miss u :(

Sigh

Why must things happen this way......

Is it a test from God???

Juz hope Im given the light...

Love u......

scare out of my wits

gosh..i was sleeping...suddenly..when i woke up i saw a shoe outside...i didn't recognize the shoe.i suspected...my chinese roommate is back..and the bez part was she can't come in cos the door is locked and "selak"..haha...but the worst part i slept on her bed haha

then a few hours later..while i was sleeping..I realised someone opened the door which was not locked..but again that person did not come in..i dunno why..maybe the person is expecting no one is in the room and wanna come in when there is no one...funny...this is her room why isn't she coming..

so as fast as lightning..I clear the room in case she got a heart attack upon seeing the room..

Sigh wat a luck..

Confused

Girl...U are born with a soft heart..

Woman...U are born with a fragile heart..

Lady...U are born with a sentimental heart..

Therefore isn't it easy for guyz to toy with their feelings???

It is so unfair...

Why can't we be a strong woman who is not easily taken in by their sweet words????

At the end of the day..woman suffers..

Long Day

Had lunch before tuition and dinner after tuition..with someone......

Pheww...what a long day..but it was a nice day..

However...I made a mistake early in the morning..or should i say very late at night..
I went to recce my future Hostel..Hall 11 with some frenz....I did try to call dear..but he didn't pick up the phone...and got a tongue lashing from him :( so sad.... Im sorry dear..I don't mean to hide things from u..I guess that is what living in hostel all about..U dun care what is the time...cos this place is like a kampung..no matter what time u go out..so long it is still in NTU ... it doesn't matter...Maybe that's the mentality of hostelites....Living In hall u will see ppl still playing basketball at 2am..ppl still loitering outside playing the guitar at 1 am....Ppl still jogging at 4 am...And esp exams period..ppl going in and out of canteen studying till early in the morning..

Sigh...I guess I must get married AASAP hah hehe..

MY HALL IS UP THE HILL MY GOSH...HOW ON EARTH IM GONNA SHIFT MY THINGS UP...PHEWWW
WHAT A LUCK...

Thank god i Have a place to stay..

swensen yum yum

Despite my fatiguness..sempat gi swensen with someone :P tapi late afternoon after a long afternoon nap..had pasta...yummy yummny...

however it is DAMN EXPENSIVE SA....Goshhh......

THKS DEAR...next time u gonna bring me..I wanna eat emmm emmm baked rice..

Phewww

IM BACK AT LAST....had a three days kidz camp called Bunayya organized by Perdaus...
Phewww..I enjoyed myself..reason being..My job is simple CAMERAWOMAN HAHAH Altogether I took 600 pictures..Isn't that a lot...Well I had to go through the sweats to get my camera going smooth...

Firstly, the camera is too good that my batteries are not strong enough.. I had to seek help of the Bangla Workers to borrow their store room to charge my battery. I guess the workers must have hated me to the core....disturbing their peace.knocing on their store room asking for the power....to charge...

The food are great....

The people are also great...Met a few people whom I know before the camp.....

The bez part haha I was known as the official camerawoman..sO MY presence was makeknown beforehand...

as normal, I can't sleep early...hence I woke up late...when I woke up, the kids are already halfway through their Morning PT..During the 2nd day...which was our first morning PT, i didn't manage to wash my face straigh away cos i had to rush to the morning PT to take pictures arghhhhh..Habit habit waking up late..NO ONE wakes me up..

OH ya I SERIUSLY LOVE THE BREEZE IN EAST COAST..GOSH IT IS BEAUTIFULL...

2nd day, I had to go out cos my fren in UMRAH need money..SO i had to help her transfer her money to her account...I walked from carpark f2 to MCdonald not knowing that it was very very far..I walked for one hour..gosh...then took a cab to bedok interchange to buy batteries and to charge my laptop......

But still I love the breeze especially the night breeze..

2nd nite..someone came to visit me hehe....we sat near the beach talking and enjoying the breeze....It is soo nice to sit by the beach esp with someone u love..U dun need to talk..feeling each other presence is enough for a good conversation....

3rd nite..phewww that's is a long entry...
AFTER COMING BACK FROM CAMP Im suppose to go Tasryif wedding but warghhhhhhhhhhhhh I overslept..cos i was too too tired..SOrry tasryif..but ur present is still with me :P

Chalet

Hey u guyz no what. I forgot to write about my chalet...I had my chalet on emmm let me see if Im not rong 24th - 26th May...At aloha loyang..Gosh that place is like..WOW...Undesribable...Big and huge and large and spacious...Well some things don't work quite well however I enjoyed myself with the presence of some of my frenz...Geng jahat especially without them the chalet is dead at night...We had sleepless night playing games...stupid games...iq games and what not....

FUN FUN FUN

I would love to come again..

Thks to those who came for the BBQ luv u guyz mannn...

And geng jahatz...Go and organize one DUN RELY ON ME mannnn...I will ended up forking out money from my small pocket again....

In Trouble

Arghh I made someone angry today...I know it is my fault but it is something I can't stop. U know how weak I am dear...declining offers and declining when ppl seek for help....

will alwayz luv u..

Cam is back

Yeah feel so happy the camera is back..haha Although the camera is not mine..But i love it soo much...anyway..Im going to Bunayya camp today till sunday....My position is so easy but Im needed almost 24 hrs..U know what? IM THE CAMERAWOMAN FOR THIS CAMP hahahah...iSN'T THAT coolz...Thats why I was hoping for this camera...anyway...Thks to my dearest for buying this camera...

Got a brooch from Abang Long, Fairuz's brother. He bought it in America It so pretty and sweet. Thks bro.

results

Got my results..On 8th June 2004....Gosh
Should i be excited or sad????

When I first look at it. I wasn't a bit happy although the grades were much better than last semester.....I had As and Bs..SO shouldn't I be happy??

No..Im not happy due to my practicum.....
Gosh I put my heart and soul to it..
My APT form was good i think....
How could i get such grade..I was given false hope
I feel so helpless
I feel so dissapointed.

This is what i felt during my poly times....but i gave up then

This time I won't give up..
I still have my second practicum

Yantzzz Buck UP !!!!

Now Im trying to pacify myself with my other grades
Ok yantz u did fine...keep it up and do ur BEZ ARGHHH

I feel like shouting to the school i was attached
WHAT HAVE U GUYZ DONE TO ME

Perhaps I should ask myself have i done enough to deserve the good grades??????????????????????????????????????????????

Someone special

Went to a wonderful, sweet, cute, talented future lawyer..NURA..House....the prominent figure in NUS i guess..she was composing a song for a puisi..we went to her hse to listen to her...really love looking at her playing the guitar while singing..Im full of envious looking at this lady .... Who would imagine a future lawyer..Is sooo talented in music..well tired of becoming a lawyer she can always be a musician haha...It is important to be multi talented dun ya think so..

Was even happier when today..she and elmi went to my hostel for informal jamming session. Im so happy to see her..Now she is a friend. Hey I make a new friend a wonderful friend.

wat makes me happier I learnt new chords .. I spent the whole night playing the musical keyboard.

Sigh u know ..How I wish I had the funds and take piano lessons. I just love seeing people playing piano or guitar..well i would wanna concentrate on piano....

Can someone sponsor me????

Wonderful

Got to know a wonderful fren..To wonderful that I fall in love....with .....music.....and.......keyboard. This fren makes me feel soo happy..I was sad cos my holidayz are not fully utilised.........How I wish this would happen everyday in my life..School starting soon..I'm gonna miss this angel friend of mine....

Luv ya Loads Ma Fren..

Thks for being there for me......

My sundayz

This entry was supposed to be in last weekend.But Nvm. before i forgotten..

What a sunday...Went to two jemputan and the best part was both the jemputan served exactly the same food..However it was really really nice...I like the servis..Must take note of the company...

Bout the wedding, I juz dun really like it when i come to jemputan but i dun see pengantin...

My wedding will be..I will try my best to be there all day...Hahaha..If the plan to marry in JB goes as planned.....

The funny part..Three dayz straight I been to my fren sis wedding. But didn't help much though..I guess the family were like..GOSH what this girl doing three dayz straight coming to their house..Well for the sake of a fren...

Lazyyy juz lazy

Till Now....I juz dun find the drive to do blogging everyday..When was my last entry? see see how lazy I was to write..well there was a history behind it...last time I used to write a diary. when i was in pri school. I wrote everything that happen to me. How mum scolded me..How i cheated. I changed the marks in my CA card and how I got a crush with a guy haha.. God is great, one day, while having holidayz in Indonesia, mum asked my uncle to open the locked diary and read everything.I guess that's is the reason why I stopped or lazy to write diaries...I prefer to write when I have so many things to say and so many things to share....

Till we see again..